Balak Erev Shabbat
July 11, 2008
Pirkei Avot Chapter 2, Mishna 4
Rabban Gamliel used to say: Do His will as you would your own, that He may do your will as though it were His. Negate your will before His, that He may negate the will of others before your will. [Make these words bolded]
This seems like a mind twister but it’s actually very simple. When we live in a way that we are supposed to live, or we could say living according to our spiritual path (Rabban Gamliel calls it doing God’s will), our lives will move more and more smoothly.
Also when we stop trying to control the universe and just walk our spiritual path (again, do God’s will), then others will miraculously stop standing in our way.
Here’s an example.
After my mother’s dead five years ago, I had a really hard time focusing on school and work. My relationship with her was extremely complex and so my grieving for her was equally complex. My role in my family had been to do whatever was needed to make her happy. With her death, I no longer had a job, a purpose in my life. I felt untethered, as though I was no longer attached to the earth. I was depressed and struggling to find my way.
Two months after she died, I knew I had to do something to change my state of mind. I decided that I would become the Mitzvah Queen.
I literally looked for every opportunity to do something for someone else. I would open doors for people; drive them places; make food for them, pick up their children from school. Nothing was too small for me to notice and to offer to do. People were so grateful for the help and I was able to feel good about myself and again find the joy in being alive.
It was so simple. All I had to do was focus on what other people needed and do it. Each mitzvah I did brought me further out of my depression and more engaged in my own life. It’s important to point out that I never subverted my self respect or my self esteem in carrying out these mitzvot. I never thought the other person was more important than I was. I knew I was doing these mitzvot to add a quality of selflessness to the world rather than be so absorbed in my own sadness.
This is how I understand this Mishna. I was doing God’s will by helping others whenever possible and I was rewarded by feeling happier and healthier. Not only was I feeling better but I knew others were also happier because they received help without even having to ask for it. I was doing what I could to make my small part of the world a better place to live in and God did His part by helping me feel happier to be alive.
Since then, I have continued to be a Mitzvah Queen, albeit in a more modified way, and my life has continued to a blessing for me. I’m not saying that I wake up every morning thrilled to get out of bed (that’s especially true, by the way, of Thursday mornings when I get up at 6am to lead our minyan) but I am glad to be doing exactly what I’m doing. I also know that it was divine intervention that led me to become a rabbi and that led me to become your rabbi.
The second hypothesis is just an extension of the first one. As long as we live according to our spiritual path, our lives will be easier and smoother. Even though there are always people who are willing to try to impose their will on us, if we continue to do what is right for us, to walk our spiritual path, then their actions will have less of a negative impact on us.
I know the whole concept of God’s will and our will may be a problem for some of us. I don’t think that God has a giant Palm Pilot with all of our lives recorded in it. He doesn’t get into minutia in that way. But God sees the big picture in a way that we can’t because we are too close to it. What God wants from us is to act in righteous ways, to use our creativity to make the world a better place and to feel joy in being alive. As long as our actions encompass those kavannot, those intentions, then we are walking on our spiritual path and doing God’s will.
It’s easier to find our spiritual path and to act on it than we think. All we have to do is ask ourselves: Is this a righteous act I’m about to do? Am I helping to make the world a better place to live in? And will this action bring me joy?
I hope that each of us can find the ways to make our lives and the lives of those around us more fulfilling and more joyful. May we have the intention to follow God’s will and to make it our own.